Understanding personality types is essential when it comes to finding (and keeping) true love.
There are many factors that go into the making of an amazing, healthy relationship, including physical chemistry, compatible lifestyle and habits, great communication styles and similar religious viewpoints — just to name a few.
Another important factor in love compatibility that’s often overlooked is a personality type.
The concept arises from the Type A and Type B personality hypothesis, originally developed in the 1950s by cardiologists Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman. In later years, further research and controversy surrounding the funding of early studies by tobacco industry giants Philip Morris (now Altria) and RJ Reynolds led their work to be largely discredited in relation to coronary heart disease,
However, this theory still provides useful insight into our mental states and psychology.
Let’s begin with a basic understanding of each of the characteristics and traits associated with these two primary groups of personality types.
Characteristics and traits of people with a Type A personality include:
Characteristics and traits of people with a Type B personality include:
People don’t always fit into one or the other and maybe a hybrid of both.
When you’re in the early phases of love, also known as the honeymoon phase, it’s easy to overlook things about your partner that might bother you down the road.
Understanding all the parts of what helps bring clarity and understanding to situations when the rush of new love hormones starts wearing off.
If you become triggered by something your new love said or did, knowing your personality type is a tool you can turn to understand why. This can also help you know more about your own core values and prioritize your “must-haves” when looking for a long-term partner.
Putting this another way, knowing your personality type and implementing that knowledge will help you avoid some messy arguments and leave more room for deep connection and emotional intimacy.
Your personality type helps define your needs in a relationship.
For example, creating Type A and Type B “buckets” is a great way to distinguish your “must-haves” from you “I’d like it, but I’m ok without it’s.”
Once you’ve determined if you are a Type A or Type B, here’s how to create your buckets.
Take a piece of paper and draw a line in the center.
On the top left side write your “Must Have” and on top of the left column write “I’m ok without It.”
Fill out the columns with items that are really super important to you.
Examples of a Type A personality “Must Have” list:
I need a partner who …
Examples of a Type B personality “Must Have” list:
I need a partner who …
You may wonder if it’s better to match up with a partner who has the same type of personality as you, or if this is a case in which opposites attract.
Here are a few guidelines to consider based on the possible variations.
Type A’s often have high expectations of themselves, but they don’t always need their partner to have those same expectations.
On the contrary, it can be quite relaxing for Type A personality to be influenced by a Type B. It’s almost like a mini-vacation of the mind when you are together with this other person. You can complement each other, as a good balance of opposite types can make a relationship thrive.
On the other hand, Type A personality types might find Type B’s laid back views and relaxed approach to life so frustrating they won’t be able to tolerate dealing with those personality traits in their life for long.
On one hand, it can be quite stimulating to connect with a Type A personality. You may like being challenged to learn new things, and they may expand your horizons.
On the other hand, it can be quite overwhelming. You may end up feeling like you’re always being pushed over your limits, and not in a good way.
Sometimes, the things that bring the conflict in a relationship have to do with whether or not you share the same values as your partner, like cleanliness or levels of ambition.
Choosing a partner with the same personality type might prevent some of the types of arguments and conflicts that arise between people who have different ways of viewing and behaving in the world.
The beauty with all of this is that you get to choose!
Ultimately, love is love.
There is no right or wrong answer. Love and relationships get complicated no matter what.
But when it comes to choosing a partner and navigating the emotional waters of all that relationships entail, it’s always good to have someone to help.
Sign up for your free coaching session to find out how your personality type plays into your love life and relationships.
As a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, CPCC, and Certified Neurolinguistic Practionioner, I help you stop self-sabotage in your life, relationships and career to create a life you really want.